Did you ever look in the classified ads of a big newspaper under "Help Wanted" and notice that if the ad doesn't say "Experience Necessary", it doesn't tell what the name of the company is? One time, just after I got out of the service, I answered every ad in a Seattle newspaper that didn't need experience. I never knew there could be so many vacuum cleaner companies, encyclopedia companies, pots and pans companies, magazine subscription companies, etc. I ended up taking a job in a 2nd Avenue shoe store because of a sign in the window that said, "Help Wanted!"

            I almost cry when I see, "11 year old wants a job, will do anything". That same message is variously phrased by other 10 to 16 year olds in one window at the Fox Island Trading Post. I know the feeling of wanting to work and not having much experience, or trying to sell things nobody seems to want.

            When I was a kid on Fox Island I had to invent jobs and hope for a miracle to get paid for it. My dad would come up with some "zingers" so I could earn a little money. When I had a BB gun he would say, "I'll give you 50 cents for crows (which got in our garden) and 25 cents for blue jays (which ate our filberts)." Up until he said that, I'd seen hundreds of crows and blue jays, but after that I only saw them when I didn't have my BB gun. Word must have gotten out when my BB gun fell apart, because after that our property looked like a set for Hitchcock's "The Birds".

            One time Pop paid me so much a row to weed the garden. At first I thought this would be another "any idiot can do this" kind of job. But I soon discovered that weeds, radishes, carrots, beets and spinach all look alike to a kid. Actually, this turned out to be as exciting as a roller coaster ride, because every time I pulled a plant I hoped it was a weed. I think my dad paid me so much a row not to weed after that, and made some lame excuse as to why we didn't have a very good garden that year. We did have some excellent rows of plantain, sheep sorrel and nightshade though. When Pop plowed a new spot for a garden he'd pay me a nickel a bucket for rocks. I made about 50 cents the first day, 25 the second, 15 cents the third, 10 cents the fourth, and a nickel for a bucket of pea gravel the fifth day. On the sixth day I spent my earnings on Popsicles, Dixie Cups, Coke, candy and bubble gum. On the seventh day I spent the day feeling sorry for myself and how badly I felt, and turned in my resignation for rock pickin'. It was a couple weeks until I could eat more than one Popsicle again.

            My first business venture off our property was when I was about six, and I decided to wash windshields of cars parked at the gas pump at the Sylvan Store. I found that for about 45 cents I could buy a bottle of Windex and a box of Kleenex. If I asked people, "Can I wash your windshield for a dime?", they would say, "No!" But if I waited until they went into the store, I could climb up on their hood and wash their windshield before they returned. Then I'd hit them for a dime, and generally got a nickel. Once in a while somebody couldn't spare a nickel and they would complain about streaks and lint and drive off in a cloud of dust. I lost money at first, but just as it was starting to pay off, some of my repeat customers would say to me, "Keep off my car kid, and don't wash my windshield." I decided I was missing some good fishing anyway, so I retired.

            One summer I tried selling rusty parts of used tools, clay babies, shells and driftwood. I don't think I sold anything, but luckily that was a good year for fishing off the dock.

            My best money maker was selling my dad's 10 cent murder mysteries for half price. He had a whole box full of them which I took to the Sylvan Store with a sign that said, "Pocketbooks - 5 cents". I was sold out in two or three hours. That was another good year for fishing.

            The biggest disaster I had was when I planned to make a killing selling fireworks. I sent in an ad to a fireworks company in Sioux Falls, South Dakota that advertised on the back of comic books. You would get $100 worth of fireworks for $10. I got the fireworks alright - on the FIFTH OF JULY! It was a bad year for fishing, too.